wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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