Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
