for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
