I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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