So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
