What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize