You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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