Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Dignity is for republicans.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize