There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
