Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Randomize
