is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
