He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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