no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize