my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
