I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize