ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
