Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
