where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Screwed.edu
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
