Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize