After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
