Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
