I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
