I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
honey bunches of taint.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
