I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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