you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
