when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
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