My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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