im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
