the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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