you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize
