You can't special order awesome
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
