he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
ttyl tear gas
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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