Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
