I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
