At least make sure they are 18
Why
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
