I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
my shit smells like andre
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Randomize
