literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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