I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
