They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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