Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
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