Can Purell be used as lube?
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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