i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Randomize
