At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Randomize
