The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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