My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
