the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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