Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
