we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
