what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Threesome in a minivan. New low
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
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