My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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