buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
