Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Small penises have feelings too.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
