is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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