Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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