plz talk dirty to me
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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