Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Randomize
