Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
