FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
