and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
