she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
We were destined to go to rehab together
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
