just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
