I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
is it fun? or sober?
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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