Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
