Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize