What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
