I don't usually arrange sex via text message
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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